reflections
by windthorne
Summary: he's a little messed up, she's a little out of her mind. together, they're humanity's strongest, cravat and scarf, living through all the lifetimes and universes possible. / a compilation of rivamika week fic's. ratings vary. (complete!)
1. obscurity

a/n: hey guys, this is my first time participating in rm week. hope you enjoy :)

this particular fic isn't long, but i promise the next ones will be nowhere as short as this...

* * *

day 1: forget-me-nots

**obscurity**

**prompt**: _true love_

**rated**: t

**summary**: it's a mystery, the way their relationship works. when did it all begin, and when will it all end?

* * *

For Mikasa, it's almost like she's stuck in a haze.

Like she's not moving forward, not going back, just staying in her place. Like she's kept in her spot without a reason why.

When did it all begin? She wouldn't know.

It's all a blur to her—when his expressionless stares became accompanied with calculating eyes and perked lips. When his eyes leered over her and she swore her heart skipped beats, like an irregular drum. When her world started to revolve not only around herself, and her beloved friends, but also around him.

She can't remember when it all began. She doesn't know if she even wants to remember.

All she knows now is that when Levi looks at her, she can't breathe.

Not in the way when people look at the person they adore, in a loving and passionate way, but more like a choking, heart-wrenching sorrow kind of way.

Now when they share a glance, it's filled with lust, strength, passion, and more emotions she would never be able to decipher in a quick second.

Now the haze she's been stuck in has been removed, only to be replaced by him, and all his titan-killing glory. His inner demons and inner thoughts that have haunted him, all poured out across the rooms they've scattered their clothes in. His heart drank up by her chained-up mind that he has yet to break. All of him, exposed to her, both physically and mentally.

And it's no different on the opposite side.

Not only are his intentions discovered by her, but also hers by him. Not only does he become vulnerable to her liking, but she falls short, too.

Only he has seen her in the light and dark, both illuminated by invisible sparks and noiseless grunts. Only he has seen the glow in her eyes when she's amused, when she's infuriated, when she's melancholy.

Only they know the other where one doesn't, only they know the pieces of porcelain to touch and what to not, only they know that each other's bearing strengths follow with multiplying weaknesses, held under the skin and only shown in their eyes at night.

For Mikasa, she doesn't know how it all started.

She doesn't know when it will end.

But maybe, just maybe, she doesn't want to know.

Maybe she just wants to remain in the haze.


	2. vehemence

a/n: the song they dance to in here is **did it again by shakira**. oo la la. lots of hips and what not. alright, that's all i've got.

enjoy!

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day 2: gladioli

**vehemence**

**prompt**: _"love" at first sight & strength  
_

**rated**: t

**summary**: it's not easy impressing a professional dancer like Levi, but of course, she's the one to go above and beyond his expectations. dancer au.

* * *

"And the next one is…" Erwin squints his eyes at the clipboard sitting on his lap. "Mikasa… Mikasa Ackerman."

The name sounds odd, the way Erwin pronounces it—but Levi ignores it, turning towards the man and crossing his arms.

"What's it say about her?" He asks quizzically.

Erwin's eyes light up as he reads the print. "Doesn't matter what it says… I already know about her." He clasps his hands as he looks up at the short man. "She's talented—amazing in her own way," He answers, tapping his pen on the paper. "She's almost like you… a lot like you, actually. She dances like no other."

Levi's eyes widen a fraction before settling back into his impassive expression.

Erwin seems to be dazzled by her—and that's definitely something to take note of.

"Huh." He replies nonchalantly. _Interesting._

He glances at the mirrored wall in front of him, looking at his reflection as he puts on his dancing shoes. He's always changing his dance style every other day—one day he'll be doing hip hop, the next ballet—so he's stuck to calling his shoes that and nothing more. To be skilled in one genre is glorious, but to be gifted in numerous… that's prodigious.

And apparently, that's exactly what this Mikasa Ackerman is, just like him.

His meeting with the next audition was about to commence in approximately 6 minutes. So far, every person that's gone in before this one has been a disaster. These people say they can dance, but they can't even walk on their own two feet. How the hell does that even work?

Nevertheless, this whole process was boring him to no end. He feels filthy, having to touch each and every dancer that's came by today. The tryout song that they were dancing to had a duet that he was in, and each time it came on, he had to step in as the partner.

And the more he danced with them, the more he craved a hot shower.

_Filthy kids with their filthy germs._

All of this, just to find another partner for his next performance. This was truly the struggle.

"Levi," Erwin calls his name, and he looks up, thoughts shoved away. "Don't act too mean this time. This is the first time she's ever partnered with anybody for a choreography."

Levi snorts. "Why, is she some kind of loner?"

Erwin glares, nodding his head. "No," He answers. "No matter how talented she is, she's still just a beginner, unlike you."

"Yeah, yeah." Levi comments. "Aren't they all."

"_Levi_."

He chuckles, about to make another lame remark, when the studio room door opens abruptly.

Both men reluctantly peer towards the entrance.

A tall, pale girl walks in leisurely, as if she was tracing her steps accordingly. She looks at the two of them, casually nodding at Erwin (in which he gestures back), before her eyes lay on him.

He immediately notices her dark, charcoal eyes—black holes in their own universe, studying him like a predator seeing its prey.

Levi feels an uncomfortable coldness settle in his gut at the sight of her.

_Boom. A spark._

If he were anyone else, he probably would be cowering in fear.

But fortunately, Levi isn't 'anyone else'.

He clears his throat. "Are you Mikasa Ackerman?" He asks, getting straight to the point.

She flips the maroon scarf wrapped around her neck back over her shoulder, noting his bluntness. "It's _Mi_kasa, not Mi_ka_sa." She corrects.

Levi raises a brow, before waving it off. "Okay… Whatever," He replies.

He looks over at Erwin, who's glaring at him again. _Be nice._

Levi sighs, glancing at Mikasa, who was studying her nails quietly. As if she was bored.

_Oh._

"So," He holds his hand out politely. "I'm Levi."

Mikasa grabs his hand hesitantly and gives him a firm shake.

_Boom. Another spark._

"Nice to meet you, Levi." She says in a way that reminds him of a robot.

Levi holds back the urge to run to the restroom to wash his hands (_filthy_). Instead, he pulls off a slight smirk, barely visible, but enough to acknowledge that he felt the same way. Somewhat.

He starts right off the bat, getting down to business. "So why are you here today?"

She pokes at her scarf. "I got a call saying I had a chance to dance with one of the most talented performers in the metroplex." She answers. "Wanted to come check it out." Mikasa then looks behind him, then around her. "But I can't seem to find him, wherever he is."

Levi blinks, blatantly ignoring her remark, and instead, crosses his arms.

"You're looking at him." He announces.

She glares. "I can see that now."

This was definitely not getting off to a pleasant start. She was already close to getting kicked out of the room and she hasn't even performed.

"Uh…" Erwin is heard in the background offhandedly. "Are you guys just going to chat all day?"

At this, Mikasa grins cheekily.

"Why, no, sir," She purses her lips. "Of course not."

Levi raises a brow.

"Let's just get right to it," She shrugs off her jacket swiftly, and both men watch with calculating looks. "Show me what moves you got."

He smirks. She's straight-forward, just like him. "Not until I see you." He says. "Isn't that what you're here for?"

Mikasa tilts her head with pursed lips, nodding. "Still, I don't want to make you look bad." She replies with a blank expression.

Erwin leans forward in his chair in the corner. Now _this_ is getting interesting.

Levi, on the other hand, is quite amused, rolling his sleeves up and exposing his elbows as he speaks. "Try me."

She shrugs, turning around and giving Levi a full view of her backside, and it ignites a multitude of siren sounds in his mind. "Alright," She points at the radio sitting on the opposite side of the room. "Go play the song then."

If Levi was even surprised by her sudden confidence, he's completely astonished now.

"Ordering me around now, huh?" He asks, his arms still crossed.

Mikasa nods, bending over to stretch her muscles and undeniably trying to put on a show.

Levi looks at Erwin, who's practically smiling by now.

He points at Mikasa, her head facing back towards the mirror-less wall, with a clueless expression.

Erwin just answers with a wink and a shrug, and Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance.

This girl was definitely going to be the death of him.

The stocky man trudges towards the radio, switching it on, and presses play to the first song of whatever was coming on. He hopes it's set on the song, because he's too baffled by this girl to check if it's on the right track.

Immediately, the familiar upbeat drum sounds begin playing, the chosen song blaring out from the speakers on the ceiling. At the sound of the music, Mikasa nods her head to the beat, her right foot tapping to the rhythm and her eyes staring at the wooden floor before her, calculating the steps and remembering the moves that were already planned.

Another 8-count, and she's gone.

She's already made quite an impression on Levi, but now, actually watching her dance, it's quite reasonable to say that she could be the one.

His eyes unknowingly draw to her hips that sway to the music, while her feet trot on the ground in a quick and fluid motion. Her body moves across the floor in a fluent motion, pointing her feet and turning in all the right places, hitting the right steps at the right time.

As the chorus hits and the beat increases, her eyes glance over at Levi.

His eyes are sharp and intense, calculating her every move-and hers are radiant and full of passion.

He tries to find a fault, any misstep at all, but finds nothing.

_Damn._

The song continues, and the couple part comes on, with Levi slowly making her way up to her. She spins around and immediately crosses the floor towards him. It takes 3 steps—Levi counts each and every step, and suddenly she's in his arms.

Her scent is filled with sweat and distinct peppermint, almost like Christmas. It makes him delirious.

Her right hand reaches for his, her left grabbing his shoulder, whilst his free hand grasps her waist, all of this happening in one fluid motion.

_Boom. A spark again._

It's become unbearably hot in the room, and Levi can't find the time to figure out why.

They dance together in a tango sort of way, neither gaining the upper hand and neither with a clear advantage. They're both equal, both in sync.

The pair focus on each other as they move-she spins as he pushes her away, she snakes her way down his body as he leers over her, she leans towards him as he leans away.

It's like they're a match to be-where one jumps, the other catches. Where one goes, the other follows.

It's flawless.

She drifts away from him to finish her audition, purposely dragging her index finger a long his collarbone, her breath mixing with his, and it leaves Levi utterly breathless and eager.

_That_ has never happened before.

After Mikasa finally finishes her performance, she bows out of habit, her audition over. Erwin stands up and gives a round of applause, clearly impressed with her and her act.

Levi, standing by the radio, is still recovering from his part with her, trying to catch his breath.

It's quiet for a while, heavy breaths from both sides of the duo, before Levi finally speaks up.

"Her," is all he says, husky voice drawling as he points at the girl before him. "I want _her_."

At that, a full smile spreads across Mikasa's face, and Levi's heart does a double flip—and it feels completely strange.

_Boom. Another spark._


	3. conviction

a/n: this could be called pt. 2 of cognizance, if you really wanted that… also, this fic has quickly helped me realize that i love writing in levi's pov. oops…

enjoy!

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day 3: apple blossoms

**conviction**

**prompt**: _hope_

**rated**: t (for hints of doing of the deed & slight gore)

**summary**: the MP is after the separated levi squad, and it's only a matter of time before they're all caught. but levi and mikasa don't fret. death can't take them just yet—he's got to give back her scarf first.

* * *

"Ackerman, you need to go. _Now_."

"Heichou—"

"Don't argue with me, brat. I'm giving an order. Do as I say."

"No."

"Mikasa—"

"_Levi_. I'm not leaving you."

"Stop fucking around! Get the hell out of here before we _both_ get hurt!"

"I'm not going without you, heichou!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? As your superior, I'm telling you to get out before you die."

"You're not going to survive without me—"

"Mikasa. _Go_."

* * *

_Ambush_. It was another attack, she vaguely remembers. Somehow in the midst of their rest in one of the distant inns from the village, they had found them.

The military police was notorious for having all the eyes and ears of the inner city, but to be here in Wall Rose, almost near the outer wall? It's strange, odd, and way out of the ordinary.

The crackdown on the event to find the infamous Levi Squad has only heightened since the separation of said squad, making it extremely difficult to find each and every member. As far as Mikasa can recall from talks around the towns, each of her squad members are alone, out on their own.

Her included.

She's unsure of whether or not they're all alive (and she sincerely prays they are, she can't bear the loss of another person in her life). She doesn't have any way to trace them, since she's almost positive that the police are right on her tail. Just like before, she still can't get to the headquarters. It's dangerous enough that she's alone, but she would rather be like this than have to die at the hands of the government.

Deep down, Mikasa yearns to see them all again. Not only Eren and Armin, but also the rest, Jean, Sasha, Historia, Connie.

And Levi.

He was the last one she was with. He was the last one she saw.

Mikasa walks through the desolate forest quietly, light footsteps sounding like tiny pounds to the earth and nothing more. The ground is covered in white bunches of snow flurries, scattering across the landscape and inevitably freezing her boots to no end. Out of habit, she reaches up to pull her scarf to cover herself from the unbearable coldness of winter, but instead, ends up touching her bare neck.

_Oh_, she realizes. She had forgotten about her missing scarf.

Mikasa doesn't remember when she lost it. Maybe she left it when her and Levi were trying to escape. Maybe she forgot it when they were too busy running away in the midst of the chaos. Maybe she left it on the wooden ground of the rooms where they did… _things._

Regardless, she still berates herself over it. Stupid, stupid of her to be so clueless to end up forgetting all about her damned scarf.

She feels so empty without it. It's like she's been shot in the neck where it always used to be.

She's been alone too long. She's been on the run for months. When was the last time she even had a full meal the whole day?

Mikasa trails down the snow-filled path, turning the corner and finding a spot that wasn't entirely covered up with the frosty patches. She takes a deep breath, having to walk all day was becoming exhausting for her, too. After looking around for anybody that could be watching, she plops down in the uncovered part of the grass, leans against the tree bark behind her, and closes her eyes.

Night is approaching quickly, and like the moon that begins to rise, her mind begins to slip away.

Her death grip on her swords don't loosen as she falls into her dreamless state.

* * *

There is an unfathomable stench somewhere in the vicinity. The scent has been with him for miles now, and it's been bothering him ever since.

Are those Military Police pigs that obscene of a smell? How nauseating.

Levi trudges forward a long the road, his wielded blades casually in hand. He looks at his weapons, noting the dried blood across the rims and the scarlet blotches painted a long the surfaces.

_Tch_. He really should clean these when he gets the opportunity.

He immediately halts in his footsteps, realization dawning on him.

Levi hesitantly lifts his swords to his nose, keeping a clear distance from his body to the object.

He sniffs twice, and scrunches his nose in displeasure after.

_Fucking shit_… Of course the stench was coming from his damned swords. It's probably coming from _him_ as well. When was the last time he had a bath?

He's starting to forget his cleaning habits. This is truly a dreadful sign.

_I need a fucking shower. And a fucking bed. And some fucking sleep._

As much as he's been hoping to find some of his squad members, right now, he's not in the mood to see his shitty brats again. Especially not like this, when his eyes are droopy, and his clothes smell like ass.

_The last time I cleaned myself was when…_

_Ah. The inn._

Levi sighs as he reminisces in the last time he stayed at an inn—not because of the decent showers and an actual bed, but because of the squad member he was with.

It's been more than a month since he last saw Mikasa, the last one he had seen before the police had found them.

At the thought of his raven-haired subordinate, Levi tugs on the maroon scarf that hung off the back of his right shoulder. She had forgotten her precious accessory in the midst of their last argument to flee. Of course, in her adrenaline and rush, she left it in his grasp.

He's going to give it back. He has to.

If he had any chance of finding his squad members, he had to find her first.

_Where are you, Ackerman?_

* * *

_Levi._

_Levi…_

_Levi, get up._

_Levi…_

"Levi."

He awoke to a serene voice and a finger jabbing him on his bicep. "Hn...?"

"Levi, it's almost noon," Mikasa whispered as she kept poking his forearm. "We have to leave in a bit."

He blinked his eyes open, laying on his back and stretching as he let out a deep yawn. Mikasa took this moment to roll her petite—and fully naked—body over onto his chest, resting her body on top of his. She hummed into his chest as he laid his arms over her back, chuckling softly.

"Did you just say it's noon?" He asked, morning voice rasped and groggy.

She nodded into his bare chest.

"Well," He shifted his body to accommodate her weight. "First—if you want—we can finish what we started last night…"

Mikasa promptly lifted her head up, chin resting on his collarbone, whilst giving him a cheeky smile.

"Or," She mused. "Maybe we could get ready."

Levi shook his head. "I like my preposition more."

At this, she chuckled, leaning over him to plant a kiss on his earlobe. "I'm serious," She spoke. "We've been here too long, old man. Now's not the time for you to ignore our usual plans."

"Did you just call me an old man?"

"Well, sir, you're not exactly young."

He snorted. "How observant you've become, Ackerman."

Mikasa shifted her body upward on his, unknowingly letting him feel more of her undressed body on top and putting his mind on overdrive.

Before she could tease him like she always liked to, Levi grabbed the back of her head, caressing her black tresses, and pulled her in for a kiss.

She eagerly kissed him back, shoving him back on the bed as she hovered over him. Their lips met as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her forward, while her fingertips grazed lovingly over his chest.

Levi let out a small hum at her movements, pressing his lips harder to meet hers.

He grabbed her waist then, fully intent on flipping them over to assert his dominance, when a bang on the door interrupted the pair.

_Thump, thump._

Both of them instantly stopped their motions, sitting up on the bed to stare at the door.

"What do you want?" Levi yelled out in annoyance.

There was no answer, instead, another rambunctious knock.

_Thump, thump._

The duo glanced at each other, befuddled.

Another bang.

_Thump, thump._

"**Open up.**" A low voice ordered from the other side.

"Do you think I should—?"

"No, don't open the door," Levi whispered. "They don't sound too friendly."

Another moment, and another knock.

_Thump, thump._

Levi quickly realized what was going on.

"It's them." He stated.

"What?" Mikasa asked, her head whirling to stare at him.

"It's the MP. They've found us."

Neither of them act out, instead, calmly assessing the situation before anything drastic would happen. They weren't one to freak out in these circumstances.

Mikasa quickly looked around, seeing the window and pointing.

"Let's just both jump out the window, then."

"No use. They'll just run after us out there." Levi gently pushed her off him to jump out of bed, swiftly gathering his clothes and putting them on. He threw Mikasa's clothes at her as well, instructing her to put them on immediately.

His mind was brewing, thinking up a plan that could work… if she complied.

"Ackerman, you need to go," He ordered, walking up to her and grabbing her shoulders. "_Now_."

"What?" She stopped buttoning her wrinkled shirt. A look of astonishment appeared on her face. "Heichou—"

"Don't argue with me, brat. I'm giving an order. Do as I say."

"Are you kidding me?" She threw her hands up. "No!"

"Mikasa—"

Another bang.

_Thump, thump._

"**Open up**."

She slapped his arm in outrage. "What are you even saying?"

He promptly nudged past her and went to the window, lifting up the frame to let out an opening. "You can get out through here."

"_Levi_. I'm not leaving you." She pulled up her pants with fervor. "You just said that jumping out the window wouldn't work—"

"If both of us went." He finished. "If you just went, I could fight them off so you could escape."

Mikasa just stared at him as if he had grown a third eye.

Another knock came, but this one was heavier and more raucous.

_Thump, thump_.

"**If you don't open up in 1 minute, we're coming in**."

Levi snapped his head towards Mikasa, who pulled out her blades, anticipating the coming attack.

"Stop fucking around!" He yelled. "Listen to me, Mikasa. You have to get the hell out of here before we _both_ get hurt!"

"I'm not going without you, heichou!" She cried.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Levi shoved her forward, closer to the window than before. "As your superior, I'm telling you to _get out before you die_."

"You're _not_ going to survive without me—"

Levi snapped, snarling in frustration and grabbed her face between his hands. He didn't even pause, smashing his lips against hers in an effort to get her to listen.

It's violent and has her almost losing her balance, the kiss they share, both passionate and storm-brooding and all too short to be their last.

Immediately after, he shoved her away towards the window, pointing at it one last time.

"Mikasa. _Go_."

It's the last thing he told her before the door bursted open, the police storming in with their guns in tow. Levi shoved her out just before she could protest again.

Everything after that happened in a quick flash-their weapons began to fire, and Levi pulled out his well-used swords, blocking the bullets from pulverizing him.

The rest for him, is a blur, just like most fights with his own kind.

* * *

Later, when he plummeted on the ground after the gory battle above, he scanned the streets for her, for anyone.

She was nowhere to be found.

He clutched the bloodied swords in one hand, still dripping from the fluids of the fallen animals.

_Tch. Disgusting._

In his other hand was a marred, crimson scarf.

Levi simply hung it over his shoulder, and began to trek down the road alone.


	4. austerity

a/n: LOL my attempt to write smut. nope. not there yet. oh well. what can you do.

enjoy!

* * *

day 4: daffodils/narcissus

**austerity**

**prompt**: _rebirth_

**rated**: t (bc i'm a baby who can't write smut)

**summary**: they're stuck here in this vicious cycle, endless and interminable. she's a time bomb yet to explode, and he has the detonator in hand.

* * *

It happened once-almost like a dream. One event in the dark, as a result of a gushing force of lust and passion that overtook them.

Then, it happened again-definitely not a dream.

Then, it happened every other week. Then every week. Then every other day. Then every day.

A repetitious act that materialized over and over again, a darkness seeming to entrance the duo slowly and surely.

It's a vicious cycle, and the pair knows it, _hell_ they know it. It's a crazy manifestation for them to keep going—this wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't supposed to go on, this wasn't supposed to commence. _They weren't supposed to be a thing_, the thought lingering in her head with each grunt and groan, hidden in the back of her mind until it unfolds when it's all over.

The need for each other is devilish, the drive insane. The craving is unhealthy—everything that ensues between them is dangerous.

And she knows, she knows he's bad for her—but she can't get rid of him. She can't leave, and it's obvious he can't either. It's like a drug being passed back and forth between them. It's an addiction that neither wants to end, and maybe that's where the lines begin to overlap and the boundaries blur into ambivalence and confusion.

He's got her wrapped around his finger, with the way he holds her tight, the way he squeezes the life out of her in the middle of their rough acts, the way he grasps her for life when he wants her to stay (but she doesn't, she never does). He hurts her in ways neither can comprehend, with the bruises in her mind and her waist. Everywhere she looks, he's there, in the blotches of violet across her hips, her thighs, her sides.

Violet, violent, where does it cross the line? When is too much too much for them? How would she know, when all she's ever known is him, when all she can do is trace his contours out of memory to keep stowed in her mind when she's all alone? How would she knows what it's like—to do these acts in the right way, in the honorable way?

No, there is no right way to fuck somebody-not the way they do.

It's dangerous, the way they are around the other—unnerving eyes and steel gazes that bury her deep in her own trapped body. She's a time bomb, ready to explode when necessary, and he has the detonator, the key to her unraveling. It's sickly, it's wrong, yet she can't get enough of it.

Every night, she goes to him. Every night, she loses herself to him and his ways. Every night, she leaves with an empty feeling knowing that she would just come back the next day to refuel her inner desires. She does it for herself, not for him, but she knows he needs it just as bad as he does, and that only heightens their time together.

Every night, she is made anew, every night she is turned upside down (literally), every night she is changed, morphed into a new being, gone into oblivion with absolutely no end.

Every night is different—the passion increases, the screams get harder to hide, the bruises get darker, the pain weakens—the growing need for the other skyrockets.

If only there was anything else involved besides that.

"Do you love me?" She asks one evening, her back turned away from him.

His answer is instant, honest, and blunt. "No."

There is an unruly silence that follows, eerie like the dead.

"Do you?" He asks after, slight uncertainty laced in his words.

But she is just as prompt as him. "No."

A breath-of relief or of dysphoria, she wouldn't know. "Good."

His touch in the pitch black is the only thing that keeps her sane as she goes through the pleasure—like a constant reminder that it's him, it's her superior, it's he who she works for. And yet, she's here, without a doubt, offering herself up for the taking.

It's a vicious cycle, repeating over and over and never once stopping for air.

They're both in too deep, and there's no way out.

It's impossible to escape each other now.


	5. amaranthine

a/n: all i can say is this probably takes place in texas. idk why, tbh. also, there are only so many synonyms for the word "glare." it's unbelievable.

basically this is a part of what i call **the stars au**, where levi and mikasa run away from their shitty lives to travel across the country. more to come soon…

enjoy!

* * *

day 5: violets

**amaranthine**

**prompt**: _loyalty & sincerity_

**rated**: m (for drug abuse, language & a tinge of violence)

**summary**: a fucked up car, a loaded gun, a pack of cigarettes, and a whole lot of passion—all for a guy with a cravat and a girl with a scarf. what more in life could they possible want? runaway au.

* * *

Maybe Mikasa should have thought this out more thoroughly. Maybe she should have planned this in a more proficient and practical way, like she was back then-unlike now, when everything they did was spontaneous and unmistakably impromptu.

Maybe she should just quit living in this façade she's grown into in the past few months since she left the city.

Maybe she should just go back home…

Not even a second after the idea pops up in her head, does it quickly dissipate into a distant nothing. She refuses to give any more thought into it.

Mikasa shifts in her car seat to gaze at the desolate road before her, an entirely opposite landscape of the one she used to be so familiar with-enormous billboard signs and crowded buildings, all an obscure memory in itself. New York City was a beautiful place indeed.

But it just wasn't for her.

She rolls down the window to stick her hand out, heedlessly fluttering her fingers across the gust of wind, before glancing at the male driver next to her.

Levi is just as uptight as her when it came to important matters, but lately he's been loosening up in terms of comfort and amenity. He drives their old (and stolen) car with one hand placed on the wheel, while the other drums its fingers along the plastic arm rest, just a few inches from where her own hand rests. His pristine white sleeves are rolled up past his elbows due to the heat—not even the air conditioning could save them from this unbearable hotness—and his usually fixed cravat is hanging loosely around his thick neck.

Unconsciously, she observes his exposed forearms, and the veins that pop every time any movements is made—turning the wheel, drumming his fingers, pressing the handle.

She's entranced by the little motions, not noticing how obvious she is until she hears him snort.

"What are you looking at?" He asks nonchalantly, breaking her trance.

She glances up to meet his azure eyes, stupefied, and sees his half-smirk appearing, a rare image to see indeed. Her cheeks immediately redden, and she curses herself inwardly. "Nothing." She replies hesitantly.

"Take a picture," He suggests after a moment. "It lasts longer."

His response is earned with a glare, and she promptly fumes in her seat, turning away from his intense eyes.

Mikasa sighs in the midst of their ongoing journey, restless but not fatigued at all. They had been driving for hours, and had yet to come across a decent place to eat dinner at. Of course, this was the usual for them almost every other night, and with the kind of money they had right now, it was almost impossible to find a place cheap enough to afford.

Nonetheless, Mikasa sticks her hand back inside the car, rolling the window in one fluid motion. She pulls out the cash from both their wallets and examines the quantity, just in case they would spot anything. After counting it, she stuffs it in the cupholder quietly to show Levi the amount at hand.

He simply glimpses at the meager total, not uttering a word at all, before his eyes look back onto the devoid road.

She notes the way his brows scrunch towards the road, and how his lips move inaudibly. She infers that he's probably adding up the cash in his head to see how many packs of cigs he couldn't afford.

Such a shame.

Mikasa eyes drift to the companion's side, waiting for him to acknowledge her. Once he turns towards her, she simply leans her head back against the headrest, indicating that she was going to nap. Levi merely nods, letting her be. She closes her eyes after his approval, falling into her own cluttered thoughts.

She dreams of blurry visions of city lights and blaring taxi horns, impatient footsteps and the smell of brewed coffee.

An hour later, she awakes to a nudge on her shoulder.

"Mikasa," a deep voice murmurs. "I think I found a place."

She opens her eyes to the night sky and flashing neon lights, a sudden flash of her dream, but not exactly so. She looks around, noting Levi's calm eyes on her, and sees the beat down complex that they're parked at. Mikasa's brows furrow.

"A bar?" she asks him. "Do we even have money to afford alco-"

"No," he interrupts. "We don't. And it's not only a bar." He points at the sign behind them, where she hadn't looked. "It's also a diner."

She scowls at him as she turns to see the luminous pink lights reading "Betsy's." It was similar to the diners of the 50's, a simplistic style that had a peppy aura surrounding it.

Mikasa bends over to see the restaurant under the cover of the car. It was an antiquated place, however there were many people spread around the small area, like it was the usual social gathering spot in the town they were in.

"There's also a hotel right down the street," Levi adds, retying his cravat into place. "We can stay there for the night, or for however long we need to."

She nods to this, and simply readjusts the scarf that was hanging loosely around her neck (due to the heat, of course). Before she can wrap it around and secure it, a hand grabs her wrist stiffly.

"God, Mikasa," Levi exclaims. "What in the world are you doing?"

She raises a brow. "Putting my scarf back on?"

He shakes his head. "Do you not understand that it's hotter than the depths of hell outside right now?"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "It's never too hot for me."

"You're gonna fucking die of heat stroke with that damned scarf of yours."

"It's _night time_, Levi," She glares. "It's not even that hot!"

"Doesn't matter," He proclaims. "Don't wear that filthy scarf—at least not right now."

Another frown. "Fine," She says. "But then you have to take off that stupid cravat."

This time, Levi scowls, but doesn't argue, instead undoing the said accessory and setting it down on the arm rest beside him. Mikasa obnoxiously whips the scarf from around her neck and places it atop the cravat, all while staring daggers at her partner.

Levi's eyes immediately dart down to her exposed neck, an unfathomable expression forming. She pretends she doesn't notice.

"And you can't bring your gun, either." She adds, her eyes flashing down towards the distinct form of a weapon hidden right under his button-up.

Again, he doesn't fight her, properly lifting up his shirt to remove the gun tucked into his slacks. He stretches over the armrest, opening the glove compartment, and shoves the handgun inside without complaint.

Before she can berate him for another detail, he swiftly turns and opens his car door, exiting out without warning. To this, Mikasa sighs, getting out of the car as well and following him inside the diner.

As they enter the restaurant, all eyes immediately set on them, the locals already labeling them as outsiders, just passing by the town.

And it was logical for them to think that—they didn't look so prim and proper, what with the solemn and plain get up Levi wore, a long with the outdated outfit she donned. To others, they probably looked poor and in need of sleep—which was exactly what they were.

Not that she minded that much.

Without thinking, Levi makes a grab for her wrist, keeping distance of her hand, and pulls her closer towards him, away from the drunk and leering men by the bar. The sudden motion jolts a sensation in Mikasa, but she dutifully evades the feeling, going a long with his intentions.

They're seated in a corner towards the back of the place, and it gives them some peace from the chaos ensuing near the front, where the drunkards were seated, watching some game that was cast across three set TV's.

At certain moments, she sees Levi's eyes dart up towards the screen to view the event himself, and she takes these brief periods to stare at him without hide.

"Quit looking at me." He quietly orders after several minutes.

Mikasa rolls her eyes. "Stop being so apprehensive." She counters.

He just grunts in response. "You're making me feel hot and bothered." He admits. "It's making me want a lighter."

"Not today," She quickly states, her left hand instantly feeling up his right leg. She was always wary of his abilities to find the pack of cigarettes she tried to hide.

"Relax," He replies, placing his hand over hers. "I left it in the car, too."

She doesn't believe him and checks his other pocket.

"Don't believe me?" He asks. "Do you want me to strip down or something?"

"I do believe you, Levi," She explains. "I just don't believe you when it comes to those cigs."

A snort. "I know." He replies, taking a sip of the iceless water he had ordered, likewise her. "You should stop trying to hide those from me. I always find them eventually."

She scowls. "They're disgusting."

"Tch, to you," He says, leaning back against the padded booth. "God, ever since you left Eren, you've taken to babying me now."

Mikasa ignores this and stares forward.

"You don't need to baby me." He adds after a second. "But you already know that."

Again, she refuses to listen to him, for he's brought up Eren again, one of the many people she left behind in NYC, a long with the other struggles and problems that came with that place.

She still misses a few things from time to time, feeling homesick at certain moments in their cross country trip.

Like the distinct desire for coffee in the city, now replaced with the desire for water—after all, they were in the heart of the heat wave. Or the busy streets and signs of people everywhere—now, it was rare to see that many people in one area.

Levi watches her expressions change, and he knows she's reminiscing in her past life. He doesn't talk about it, simply squeezing her hand in silent reassurance.

They were never a couple to talk much, preferring their conversations to occur through their actions and their eyes, a quality not many people possessed nowadays. They observed the people bustling around the diner, the loud and harsh laughs of the drunks, the incoherent giggles of the ladies, the busy waiters making their way around in a rush.

When she notes a funny drinker reciting a ballad of an old song, she simply pats his hand to the beat, to which he replies with a plain "tch." When the team he roots for on TV scores, he makes it a point to lay his right hand on her thigh, gripping her whenever they got lucky, to which Mikasa replies with a pursed lips.

It wasn't that they were together—no, that certainly was not the case—it was just friendly gestures to them. Yes, they slept in the same bed at night to save money. Yes, they liked to stare at each other to annoy the other. Yes, they held each other's wrists, arms, thighs, hands, but not out of affection. Definitely not out of affection.

They were nothing more than friends who kept close to one another, a platonic relationship that didn't involve any amount of feeling.

At least, that's how she viewed it.

"Hey, little guy," A tall, blonde man with a long face made his way up to them suddenly, drawling out his words with his eyes set on her. "Might I borrow your girl for a second?"

A drunk. Of course.

Immediately, Levi grabs her wrist, but she breaks from his grasp gently. She gives him a look that says to _stay calm_.

Levi just grunts, turning away.

"She's not my girl." He replies with ease.

There is a slight tightening in her chest as she hears him utter those words, but she simply ignores it, choosing instead to nod in agreement.

"Oh," The tall man accepts, a subtle smile crossing his reddened face. "Cool, cool. Then pretty lady, may I dance with you tonight?" He asks politely, although drunk out of his mind.

Mikasa took pity on the poor man who had offered his hand out—he looked quite lonely despite his sass and confidence. His amber eyes glowed in the light, and it drew her in enough to accept.

She needs a little optimism in her life, anyway.

"Sure." She answers nonchalantly as she stands to grasp his hand. The man is shocked at first, but he quickly whisks her away with as much energy as a rabbit, pulling her flush against him in his state of weariness.

In the corner of her eye, she sees Levi glaring at them, rapping his fingers on the table before him, just like he always did.

"What's your name, pretty lady?" The man asks curiously with a cheeky grin.

She smiles, shaking her head. "I don't give my name out to strangers." She answers innocently.

It's okay, he wouldn't remember her in the morning anyway.

"Oh," His face falls. "That's okay, I guess." He sticks up a finger and jabs it into his chest with a cheery smile. "I'm Jean. Jean Kirschtein."

Mikasa nods back with more enthusiasm than she's ever given anyone—this man was just so… confident. At least, right now, when he's tipsy as hell.

"Your hair is very beautiful." He blurts out in the midst of them spinning across the floor, whereas he grabs her waist respectfully. "_You're_ beautiful, in fact. More beautiful than your hair." He scratches his head in confusion. "But your hair is on you, so it just makes you even more beautiful."

She hadn't understood a single word he had said. "Thank you." She replies with a smile, anyway.

Not many people compliment her like that, not in a sincere and genuine way. Not even…

The man—Jean—grins at her then. "Your smile is beautiful, too."

He was really straightforward as well. "Why thank yo-"

"She knows already," A voice behind her interrupts suddenly. "But thanks."

The pair whirls around in surprise, looking at the stocky man that stood too close. Levi's face was as impassive as ever, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"Levi?" Mikasa asks, brow raised.

"He's too stupid to function right now," He insists, grabbing her hand—her actual hand—and tugging her away from Jean. "He keeps stating the obvious."

"Excuse me!" The blonde shrieks in the background.

Despite the blush creeping in on her face, she rolls her eyes. "He's drunk and lonely. And he's a nice guy. Stop giving him shit."

"I will when he stops being so close to you like that." He replies, full on glaring at Jean over her shoulder.

"Levi." Her voice seems to do nothing to cease him from glowering at the man in question. "Levi."

"What's your problem, shortie?" Jean asks, his face twitching into a frown.

"Nothing of your likes, shitface." He responds casually. Mikasa squeezes his hand.

"Shut it," She whispers harshly into his ear. "You don't even know him."

"Stop pitying him," Levi orders, his brows furrowing. "You don't know him either."

"_Levi_," She emphasizes his name to get him to cooperate. "We can't go through this again…"

"I don't give two shits." He states, eyes emotionless.

Mikasa doesn't reply to this, letting go of his hand.

"You think you're so high and mighty, midget?" Jean yells over the crowd now, taunting the said man. "You don't insult me, the Jean Kirschtein, for nothing!"

"Levi," Mikasa tugs on his sleeve. "We should just go now."

"Not yet," He says, walking up to Jean hotly, a death glare up on his face.

"Just because you got a girl like her on your shoulder doesn't make you king of the world, now does it?" Jean rambles, his hands held up like a preacher. "Hell, she's probably too good for you, you son of a shi-"

He doesn't even finish his sentence, as a punch lands him right in the jaw, hitting him in one quick snap. A gust of blood winds from his mouth, and he falls effortlessly to the cold ground. The man immediately passes out from the shock, his body lying lifeless on the wooden floor.

Levi proceeds to kick the man helplessly, once, twice, then another. Mikasa pulls him back before he can do anymore damage—or before any other man could step in.

The whole diner was staring at them in silence, all the people settling their eyes on her—and the man in her hold.

Levi clutches his bloodstained hand with a careless gaze, staring at the man on the ground.

"You should just be glad I didn't bring in my gun."

* * *

"Why do you always have to hurt people in small towns like this?"

A scoff. "It's not my fault they're all annoying and bothersome."

"But you didn't have to hit the guy." Mikasa folds the familiar thin scarf in her lap as she speaks, setting it down on the bedside table. "He wasn't doing anything wrong."

"Yes, he was."

"_No_, he wasn't."

"Doesn't fucking matter. He was a problem. I dealt with him. It's done with."

They had managed to get out of the diner without trouble, truly only because everybody was too drunk to notice at that point in time. Regardless, they were now in their hotel room, resting from a long day. Somewhat.

Mikasa picks at the bed sheets under her.

"Just give me one decent reason why you keep doing this. Over and over."

"Easy." Levi doesn't even pause. "You."

"Me?" Mikasa furrows her brows. "How?"

He shrugs, looking up from his task to wrap up his bloodied hand. "You just do."

_Again with the blunt and stupid answers_. "Elaborate."

"What else do I have to say?" He asks, standing up from his side of the bed to flex out his right arm. "You're attractive. Men notice you. They pounce, and I strike."

Mikasa lets out a deep sigh, turning to face him from her side of the bed.

"But you don't have to hit them."

"No, I do."

"You don't."

"Trust me when I say that I really do," Levi sits back down, clutching his hand. "Have to hit them, that is."

She groans. "I don't need your protection."

"Doesn't mean I'll stop doing exactly that."

The green hotel walls seem to be caving in as his respond sinks in, drowning her. She shakes her head, continuing regardless.

"And I don't need your acts of jealousy as well."

He pauses in his wrappings. "Who said I was jealous?"

A scoff. "Please." She crosses her arms. "Don't deny it."

"I need my fucking cigarettes-"

"No, we're going to talk about this."

"Where's my fucking lighter-"

"_Levi_."

He glances at her, expressionless, searching for an explanation in her eyes.

She chuckles. "You're jealous."

"I am not." He turns away from her, avoiding her sharp gaze.

"You're making it obvious."

"I don't make anything obvious." Levi frowns. "I wasn't jealous. I'm never jealous."

"Whatever," Mikasa sighs. "Don't listen to me, like always. But just know," She slides over towards his side, reluctantly drawing closer to him. "I'm not going to leave you."

"Tch," He makes a face. "I know that already."

"I say that for reassurance," She says. "Just in case you needed a reminder." She makes a move to grab his injured hand, holding it up to her face. "I'm not going anywhere without you. It's just you. Only you. Nobody else."

Levi looks up to the window before them, silent.

A pause, and then: "Are you saying that you're mine now?"

She frowns. "No. Not at all."

"Technically, you did. Not in a literal way, but like a symbolic and figurative way."

She rolls her eyes. "Well, that's not what I mean."

"Bummer," Levi relieves his hand from hers, resting it on his thigh. "You shouldn't be, anyway."

A confused expression crosses her face. "Then why are you acting like that, then?"

"Why can't I act like this?" He turns to her, blue eyes intense and calculative.

"Because I'm not yours," She muses. "Like you said."

He shrugs.

"Doesn't mean I can't still feel the way I do for you."

Mikasa turns from his stare, unable to meet his eyes. "What do you mean?" She asks.

"Don't play stupid with me. You know exactly what I mean."

Of course she does. It was just them two. Who else did they have?

A pregnant silence falls between them as she tries to think up a response suitable for this.

"Well, none of that matters, regardless." She responds after a moment, shifting closer to him.

Mikasa leans her head on his shoulder, in which he openly welcomes. "No matter what happens—no matter I do or what kind of stupid shit you get into," She makes a point to grab his hand again.

"No matter how many cigarettes you slip past me or how many times I catch you with your gun," She traces the veins surrounding his injured hand, up his arm and then back down.

"No matter what—at the end of the day, I'm still going to get into that damned car with you, and we'll be off to the next warped up city. And that's that."

Levi doesn't utter a word.

Instead, his hands reach up to grasp her face, pulling her forward. She leans into his touch, her forehead brushing against his as both their eyes close in an unusual serenity.

Their noses graze slightly as he tilts her head upward in a single motion.

"_God_, I already know that, Mikasa," He breathes against her lips. "Quit stating the obvious."


	6. amaranthine, pt 2

a/n: again, idk where this is. i'm in the same boat as them tbh. i'd like to think they're somewhere in south, however.

this is another part of **the stars au**. more to come soon :)

enjoy!

* * *

day 6: chrysanthemums

**amaranthine**, pt. 2

**prompt**: _perfection_

**rated**: t (for drug abuse & language)

**summary**: in which Mikasa sees the stars for the first time. runaway au part 2 of ?

* * *

Mikasa grew up not knowing what the stars looked like.

It wasn't because she didn't want to, but because she really _couldn't._

How could she see them, when the city she lived in was alive even in the night? When the air was too polluted for the iridescent bodies to appear, when the only place she's ever known made it impossible to see the true night sky, in all its glory?

She never gave much thought into it, honestly. Her life was too muddled, too fast-paced and too _real_ to think about the abstract things, let alone the stars above.

She realizes now how wrong she was to neglect such an experience as this.

Above her now sits thousands of illuminated lights, crossing universes and galaxies, in one single sky she's never truly seen.

How could she have gone through life without seeing this spectacular? It was unbelievable.

It was another night in which she and Levi were completely broke—as in absolutely no money, besides the spare change found in the back of their vintage (and stolen) truck. With no place to stay, they decided they were going to have to spend the night in the pick up, which wasn't a new thing to them.

They had managed to find a quiet field atop a seemingly flat hill, giving them an outlook of the cities surrounding them—and also, a perfect display of the sky above.

"Wow," She musters after a moment of gazing up, the stars entrancing her in ways she didn't know possible. "It's… it's amazing."

To her left sat another in wonder, his eyes twinkling despite his apathetic expression.

"Yeah," Levi agrees, fascinated. "Not bad."

She turns towards him, pointing up at the obscurity. "Have you ever seen this?" She asks in astonishment.

"I have," He replies, shrugging. "I've seen it in our night drives—usually when you're asleep."

Mikasa nods to this, looking back up to bask in the beautiful lights.

"However," Levi adds. "I've never seen them like this."

She notes the tone of wonder in his voice, an attribute she almost never heard in him.

Unknowingly, she shifts towards the back of the truck bed, wanting to get a better view of the sky before her.

"It's rare to see the stars so spread out like this," Levi explains, his eyes scanning the magical view overhead. "You don't see them like this every night."

Mikasa chuckles. "I don't think you don't see them like this ever." She says, remembering the astronomy class she took all those years ago. "Unless you're in the right spot at the right time."

"Exactly," He suddenly digs into his jean pocket. "So basically, we got lucky tonight."

She nods slowly, brow raised. "And?"

"And," He instinctly pulls out the dreaded pack of cigarettes she loathed.

"We should celebrate."

She scoffs. "Celebrate? That we got to see the stars?"

"Precisely."

"Are you just trying to make an excuse to fucking smoke?"

He shrugs. "Maybe I am. Who fucking cares." He holds his hand out impatiently. "Now give me my lighter."

Mikasa sighs as she plucks out his precious lighter from her own pocket, handing it to him without another word.

There was no point in arguing with him over this… _again._

Levi slips out a cigarette from his notably full pack (how he got them, she has yet to find out), sticking it in his mouth. He takes the lighter in hand, igniting the cig in one swift motion, all while staring at his raven-haired companion, who scrutinizes back with the same intensity. The tip of the cig glows as he sucks in the drug, all while Mikasa is beside him.

She watches as he inhales with hooded eyes, before blowing out, the familiar cloud lightly hitting her face. After he repeats this a few times, he pulls the roll from his mouth, holding it out to her carefully.

As usual, she shakes her head.

She has yet to try, but she would avoid it as much as possible.

But it didn't help when the one person you knew tried to smoke all the time.

Levi simply shrugs before throwing it out the truck. Before he can do another round, she promptly grabs the lighter from his hand.

"That's it for tonight." She declares, slipping it down her pocket before he can protest.

Levi grunts, but says no more.

The familiar silence they've become used to settles in again, a deep abyss that engulfs them as they both stare at the sky again.

After a moment, Levi breaks his gaze to look over at her. "Are you glad?" He asks suddenly.

She furrows her brows. "What?"

"Are you glad you left New York?" It's a random question, thrown out of nowhere, however sincere and laced with curiosity.

_Are you happy you're with me?_

"Of course I am." There is not even a dash of dishonesty in her words.

He scoots closer to her, already nudging her arm. "You don't miss it at all?"

_You're not going to leave me?_

"No." she answers bluntly.

Levi takes this as a decent answer, nodding.

"Why?" She throws the question back at him. "Do you?"

_Would you leave me?_

He replies just as candidly. "_Hell_ no."

And that's that.

There is an unnoticeable breath of relief that exits the both of them, although neither acknowledge this.

Neither of them question the doubts and curiosities that try to creep in. Even when one tries to slip out, it's extinguished before it's a problem.

They ran away to escape. There was no way they were going back.

Mikasa glances up at the stars again, before glimpsing down at the man beside her.

She hesitantly inches closer to him, closer than they already were, before she simply trails her index finger down his chest, hitting every single button on his shirt.

His cobalt eyes drift over to hers, calmly following the path of her finger.

Her hand pulls away, and she places it on her lap, patting her thigh to indicate a message to him. Immediately, Levi shifts over, laying his head down in her lap without a word. His head nestles there comfortably, and they settle in this usual position with ease.

She draws her fingers through his jet-black tresses, ones that match hers remarkably. He exhales a deep breath as she does so, before they both glance up, the mystical lights entrancing them once again.

Yes, they weren't living the dream anymore. Yes, they skipped car to car, lived day to day, spent coin after coin.

(And it didn't help that the money went to his damned cigarettes half the time.)

Yes, they weren't perfect—in fact, they were probably the two most flawed people alive—and they were everything but immaculate.

But to them, this was life.

To them, this delusion was everything or nothing.

_This was their everything._


	7. untainted

a/n: i just had to take a break from all the angst i've been writing lately… and this happened. :)

also eruhan baby as well oops

enjoy!

* * *

day 7: baby's breath

**untainted**

**prompt**: _innocence & family_

**rated**: k+

**summary**: in which chaos ensues as levi finds out about his daughter's first boyfriend.

* * *

"_Mikasa_," Levi slammed the front door in anger, breathing heavily. "_Please_… talk… to… your daughter…"

The raven-haired woman looked up from her garden work, her hands stuck deep in the dirt. She saw her husband standing beside her, sweat visible on his forehead.

Levi rarely sweats.

"What happened?" She asked, standing up in confusion.

As she walked over to him, he held his breath, unwilling to calm down from the terrible news.

"Mai, she has a-" Levi stopped, a disgusted look spreading across his face.

"She has… a… a _boyfriend_."

Mikasa rolled her eyes, indifferent to this. "I know that already, Levi."

He whipped her head towards his wife. "What? _How_?"

"She… told me?"

Levi clenched his fists in frustration. "_How dare he_." He growled, "How dare someone claim my daughter—how dare a boy like him even touch my own blood—"

"Levi!" Mikasa slipped off one of her gardening gloves to grasp his arm. "Calm down!"

"I will not calm down," He pulled away from her, trudging around the grass with his arms thrown up in the air. "I will _not_ let this happen!"

"It's already happened," She crossed her arms. "What's so bad about Lucas, anyway?"

"What's so bad about him?" Levi stopped in his furious walk. "_What's so bad about him_?"

Mikasa raised a brow.

"What's so bad about him," Levi explained, "Is that _he's Erwin and Hanji's son_."

"And?" She beckoned him to speak further.

"_And_, I don't want that crazy boy near my little girl!" He yelled. "How dare he, how dare he even—I'm going to pull out my 3D maneuver gear and show him a little—"

"Dad?" A light voice interrupted him from behind. Levi turned around quickly, immediately drawing upon eyes that matched his own.

His daughter—the current topic of the conversation—looked at him in utter confusion.

"Mai," Levi lowered his arms down hastily.

"Dad, are you seriously ranting about that?" Mai's face was as impassive as ever, one that resembled his wife's. "Are you that mad enough that you're yelling at mom?"

"Sweetie, he's not yelling at me," Mikasa stepped in, walking up to her daughter. "He's just… letting out his feelings."

Levi grunted, crossing his arms.

"He's just going to have to get used to you and Lucas," Mikasa said as she ruffled Mai's hair, in which she quickly fixed. "Your father just needs a little time."

"Tch." Levi turned away. "As if."

"_Levi_."

"Dad, he's not even that bad!" Mai exclaimed, shuffling up to Levi. "He's sweet, and kind, and smart…"

"And insane, I bet." Levi muttered under his breath.

"_No_," Mai glared, tugging on her father's sleeve. "He's not."

"I don't care," He declared, "Lucas is Hanji's offspring—therefore, he carries her blood, and her crazy, psychotic genes."

"So? He's a good guy, I promise!" Mai sighed. "Just give him a chance, dad…"

"Yeah, Levi," Mikasa chuckled in the background. "Just give him a chance."

Levi turned to scowl at his wife, but instead saw his daughter, her expression changed from one of devoid emotion to one of extreme mockery—one those teens called "puppy dog eyes."

How a daughter of two expressionless soldiers can be able to muster that face, not even he knew.

But it was definitely affecting him for the worst.

"You're too young," Levi argued.

"I'm 15." She proclaimed.

"I don't care."

"Dad, please," Mai begged, her expression saddened and albeit fake. "_Please_, just give him a chance."

Levi stared at her, his eye twitching.

After a moment of their staring contest, he finally gave up.

"Fine," He sat down on the grass, utterly broken down and exhausted. "_One_ chance."

"Yay!" Mai jumped in the air, landing on the ground to embrace him in a cheery manner. "Thank you so much, dad!"

Mikasa walked up to them as Mai pulled away, a warm smile on her face. As Mai thanked him again and ran back inside, Mikasa watched Levi as he clutched his head in exhaustion.

She kneeled down to where he sat, prying his hands from his face. He looked up at her with a raw look of irritation.

"If he ever hurts her, I _swear_ I will—"

She grabbed his face. "Levi."

"I will rip him up just like the titan-crazed animal he is—"

"Levi."

"I'm definitely going to regret this decision—"

"_Levi_."

"I don't give a flying fuck—"

Mikasa swiftly brought her lips to his, effectively shutting him up, before pulling away softly, a smirk on her face. "It's going to be fine. Calm down, old man."

He glared. "I'm not that old."

"Sure." Mikasa stood up, going back to her garden work that had been interrupted. "By the way, where did she get that much energy from?"

Levi shrugged, standing up as well, and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know. Probably her uncle. Or maybe you."

They shared a comical look, before turning away.

"Or maybe it's just—"

"Mom! Dad!" A familiar deep voice from far away called out for the pair. They both spun towards the road, where a man on a horse rode hurriedly towards them.

Levi identified the figure as it got closer to be their son, wearing the worn out crimson scarf, with a wild grin on his face.

_Dear Sina. I know that look_.

"Roy!" Mikasa waved at their 17 year old boy, who approached them without stop.

As he pulled up to them, his smile widened.

"Guess what?" Roy asked, bouncing on his horse in excitement.

Mikasa tilted her head up at him. "What?"

"What, son?" Levi asked, unable to hold back his growing fears.

The dusty gray-eyed boy grinned with confidence.

"I got a girlfriend!"

Levi's eye twitched again.

"That's wonderful!" Mikasa clapped her gloves together, smiling. "Who is it?"

Roy jumped off his horse swiftly, hugging his mother in joy. "It's Hannah!"

_Hannah. Hannah? As in…_

"Hannah Smith?" Levi calmly questioned, with what little control he had left in him.

Roy nodded, rubbing his palms together happily. "Yep! Are you proud or what?"

_No. No no no no NO._

Levi hastily stormed off in anger, fully intent on getting out of there before he would explode.

"Where are you going, Levi?" Mikasa asked just as he neared the door to the house.

"To take a long, hard, and _painful_ shit!" He slammed the door, heaving deep breaths. _Damn Smith brats…_

Of course, right as he turned around, Mai was standing there, cobalt eyes aglow.

"Dad, can I go see Lucas—"

"_No!_"


	8. quondam

a/n: i was planning on keeping this light and happy for the last day… but then i started rewatching youtube videos of maging sino ka man… and then i was literally bawling as i wrote this. so uh. yeah.

enjoy!

* * *

day 8: lillies

**quondam**

**prompt**: _freedom & friendship_

**rated**: k+

**summary**: two hearts died in time—one literally, one secretly. one knowing, the other not. and maybe, that's just how it was supposed to be.

* * *

Levi knew she was dying before she did.

He saw the signs every day. Those passionate and vivid charcoal eyes that used to glow, now dim and gloomy, a dark void with no escape. The way she walked, so rigid and determined, now languid and slouched. The faces she made, ones of chagrin and ones of bliss, now completely erased, with absolutely no way of finding them.

She was deteriorating from the inside and out—slowly, simply, surely.

He watched her, day by day, in a clandestine manner. He sat by her as she slept in the infirmary bed. He reached for her hand when she didn't notice it. He saw her lips move despite the words that never came out.

Levi would think that she would never know he was always there.

Nobody knew what was wrong with her—not even Hanji, who was practically the resident doctor at the HQ. She constantly checked up on the legion's best soldier—second to only Levi, of course—watching her blood flow and her breath intake. Hanji monitored the fallen woman daily, but always came to an empty end.

It was becoming clear to them that Mikasa Ackerman was going to die before the year ended.

A woman as strong and powerful as her—now vulnerable and helpless to a damn illness.

There was no cure for this disease—he didn't know the name, nor cared to know. It was painful to see his comrade fall like this, and he wouldn't dare try to label this sickness.

But her death was not painful. It was slow, but definitely not hurtful to her.

She still tried to get up and out of the room, staggering around to see her friends and trainees. She still managed to dress herself despite her frail reflexes and weak bones.

She still wore that dirty scarf that seemed to stick to her skin.

Nevertheless, Mikasa was still as adamant as ever, even with her end approaching.

He would tell that as her last characteristic. Stubborn. Just like him.

* * *

"You only have a few months left in the world, Mikasa," Hanji told her all those days ago. "What do you want to do now?"

Her words were simple and light, floating across the surfaces of the floorboards and draining his ears of hearing as they poured out.

"I want to get married." She answered with all the certainty she mustered in her.

To this, Levi's ears perked up.

She wanted to get married.

And so she did.

But not to him.

* * *

He wouldn't say he loved her.

No, that wouldn't be the right way to describe how he felt for her.

Was it lust? Was it mere attraction? Was it desire?

He never could pinpoint the perfect way to explain just how he felt for Mikasa Ackerman.

"Levi?" A high voice from behind beckoned for him. "Are you ready?"

He stared at the mirror before him as he pushed the stray locks of his hair back once again, before he stood quietly in a daze. The simple black suit he donned was no different than how it was before, except only cleaner, and darker.

He approached the door with a blank mind, clearing his thoughts away, before opening it.

She was just as he had imagined—stunning, marvelous. Breath-taking, in other words.

Before him stood _her_, cream-white silk flowing down her body, giving her porcelain skin a darker hue and a better look. Her hair was pinned up neatly, showcasing all the features that came with her, including the scar that marred the little part of her cheek.

Her eyes wandered over him, a pink duskiness clouding over her cheekbones, while his darted down and immediately took notice of the lack of a crimson scarf.

Levi cleared his throat to direct her—and also his—attention.

"Ackerman," He breathed. "You cleaned up well."

She gave him a soft smile—somewhat. "Thank you, corporal."

He nodded, tearing his eyes off the sight before him in favor of staring at the wall behind her.

"Where's the scarf, by the way?" He asked nonchalantly.

Mikasa lifted her hand up to trace her fingers over the ghost accessory, looking at the spot past his ear.

"He has it," She replied, pulling her hands behind her back to link her fingers. "He's wearing it right now, in fact."

"Ah," is all Levi is able to say.

She gave him a look of confusion and… puzzlement, desiring to know his thoughts. He turned away from her curious gaze.

_He doesn't love her_. The words slip through his brain, in one ear, out the other.

They refuse to make eye contact as he guided his hand to hers, grasping it in uncertainty while leading her out of the doorway, towards the hall.

"We shouldn't waste any more time," Levi proclaimed as he lead her to their destination. "I'm sure you're dying to get that scarf back."

She shrugged carelessly, unconsciously wrapping her arm around his formally. "I don't mind," She mused. "It's his, anyways."

_It's his, just like you. Just like you're his._

He vaguely wondered what it's like to know you're dying, like her.

They found their way to the makeshift wedding room slowly, her energy partially draining on the way there. As they approached the room, Mikasa clung to his arm to uphold herself.

As they straightened themselves out, she squeezed his arm to better keep her nerves away, while keeping her eyes on the door.

They both faced the door hesitantly, awaiting the other's signal to push it open.

Before they entered, he stopped short, looking up at the bride in tow, and frowned. She was taller, much taller, and it irked him to no end.

And she was beautiful. He would never admit it out loud. But she was.

_What is it like to know you're dying?_

The door barged open after another second, and he has to rip his eyes away from her to look forward.

His eyes settled upon the man standing down the aisle, red scarf in hand. His smile was cheesy and _lame_, and his emerald eyes glowed as he saw the woman standing beside Levi.

Levi quickly found the answer to his question.

_This._

_This is dying._

* * *

Did he love her?

He didn't think so.

Not even when Mikasa kissed Eren does his thoughts cease. Not even when the ring slides up her finger does his mind stop.

It was too late for him. He didn't take the chance before, he would never be able to take it now.

He didn't love her.

And yet, he couldn't bring himself to believe that statement when her gray eyes passed over his.

* * *

"Did you love her, too?" Eren asks one day, when he finds Levi sitting at her grave in the withering sun.

Levi wonders, the question a black hole with endless answers.

He still doesn't know how to explain his feelings for Mikasa Ackerman.

He didn't love her—he knows he didn't. It would be stupid of him to fall for a dead woman.

His heart is set, it's been set since the beginning.

Levi just sits there, his arms settled on top of his bent legs, picking at a lily flower.

He wouldn't say he loved her.

So he doesn't say anything at all.

* * *

a/n: well, that's it for rivamika week 3! i hope you enjoyed them all, and i'm sorry for a sad ending *hides face*

until next time~


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